I have an insatiable desire to buy a new road bike. Unfortunately, that's not really in the budget right now. So what's my solution? FIXED GEAR! A fixed gear bicycle is about as basic as it gets, as long as the wheels are turning your feet are moving. The beauty of this design is that you can use an old bike and get very good results. I just bought a 70s or 60s Raleigh Grand Prix frame for $20 at a local bike shop. I plan on slowly building it up this winter with used parts that I can find on the cheap. It will be a fun project and I can learn a little more about bicycle mechanics. Details will follow.
If you're looking for an inexpensive project, building a fixed gear bicycle might be for you.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
How to quit your job to live the dream.
There are many many people that would love to quit their job to spend more time at home with their children. There are also many people who have been forced to stay home with their children because of the present economy. When faced with stay at home parenthood the first thing you have to ask yourself is, can I do it?
Now, this is sort of an intangible question, it encompasses a variety of subjects. From financial to social to metaphysical. The first question most people probably think of is can I make stay at home parenthood work financially? However, I think the latter two questions are far more important.
Socially, do you have a good support system to tap into once you cut your ties to your former work life? You may think that you'll continue to see your buddies from work, but once you're out of the trenches with them the relationships often slowly burn out. It's much like trying to maintain a high school relationship while going to separate colleges. It can work, but often doesn't. This is a lifestyle that often requires a very rugged social character. You're often on your own for long stretches of time without adult interaction, many times all you can do is grin and bear it. From the social standpoint, the most important thing you can do is be very outgoing. Especially if you're a stay at home dad, the stay at home parent landscape is seemingly dominated by moms. You're the stranger in a strange land here and as such the onus is on you to make relationships. In my experience, breaking in with the moms can be difficult, but very doable. Finding a Dads group is the best way to go, but due to the low numbers of stay at home dads it can be difficult to organize.
Metaphysical, you really need to know what your personal motivations and rewards are before quitting your job. You may think that you hate your job and would love to stop working, but you need to know how much of your character and motivation is wrapped up in your career status. I was an airline pilot before I was a stay at home dad. I hated my job but I did get a surge of satisfaction by telling people that I was a Captain for United Express. So much so that I find I often still preface the "What do you do" question with "I was an airline pilot and now I'm a stay at home dad." I know it's a little ridiculous but I like the degree of credibility that the airline pilot status gives. After a year and a half though, I'm slowly weaning myself off of this silly little shortcut. I'm proud of my former profession, but I'm more proud of my current one. Before you leave your job you have to search your soul and figure out if you can leave your status behind. The American tradition is such that nearly all of our worth is wrapped up in what we do for a living, how much money we make, where we went to college etc. Unfortunately, raising the best children you can and living a simple honest life often don't fit into others value of you. You'll have to grow thick skin and live off of your own internal satisfaction, but this is what you should have been doing all along. :)
Don't let any of this deter you though. All it takes is determination and openness to embark on stay at home parenthood. Initially you may be deterred by everything you have to leave behind, but you have to focus on everything that you can gain. Pursuing a career, especially a high status one can be very satisfying, but it's been done before. If you're an ambitious talented person, others will see you quitting your job as a crazy neurotic decision. Which is what I love about it. Because really, this is an ambitious, entrepreneurial, trail blazing endeavor. In a world of obese children, declining test scores and the break down of family systems you're drawing a line in the sand. You're telling the world that what matters isn't what you have, it's what you do for others. You're forming a relationship that could never exist in the world of daycare and nanny's. And most importantly you won't have to look back in 20 or 30 years and wish you had tried harder as a parent.
Now, this is sort of an intangible question, it encompasses a variety of subjects. From financial to social to metaphysical. The first question most people probably think of is can I make stay at home parenthood work financially? However, I think the latter two questions are far more important.
Socially, do you have a good support system to tap into once you cut your ties to your former work life? You may think that you'll continue to see your buddies from work, but once you're out of the trenches with them the relationships often slowly burn out. It's much like trying to maintain a high school relationship while going to separate colleges. It can work, but often doesn't. This is a lifestyle that often requires a very rugged social character. You're often on your own for long stretches of time without adult interaction, many times all you can do is grin and bear it. From the social standpoint, the most important thing you can do is be very outgoing. Especially if you're a stay at home dad, the stay at home parent landscape is seemingly dominated by moms. You're the stranger in a strange land here and as such the onus is on you to make relationships. In my experience, breaking in with the moms can be difficult, but very doable. Finding a Dads group is the best way to go, but due to the low numbers of stay at home dads it can be difficult to organize.
Metaphysical, you really need to know what your personal motivations and rewards are before quitting your job. You may think that you hate your job and would love to stop working, but you need to know how much of your character and motivation is wrapped up in your career status. I was an airline pilot before I was a stay at home dad. I hated my job but I did get a surge of satisfaction by telling people that I was a Captain for United Express. So much so that I find I often still preface the "What do you do" question with "I was an airline pilot and now I'm a stay at home dad." I know it's a little ridiculous but I like the degree of credibility that the airline pilot status gives. After a year and a half though, I'm slowly weaning myself off of this silly little shortcut. I'm proud of my former profession, but I'm more proud of my current one. Before you leave your job you have to search your soul and figure out if you can leave your status behind. The American tradition is such that nearly all of our worth is wrapped up in what we do for a living, how much money we make, where we went to college etc. Unfortunately, raising the best children you can and living a simple honest life often don't fit into others value of you. You'll have to grow thick skin and live off of your own internal satisfaction, but this is what you should have been doing all along. :)
Don't let any of this deter you though. All it takes is determination and openness to embark on stay at home parenthood. Initially you may be deterred by everything you have to leave behind, but you have to focus on everything that you can gain. Pursuing a career, especially a high status one can be very satisfying, but it's been done before. If you're an ambitious talented person, others will see you quitting your job as a crazy neurotic decision. Which is what I love about it. Because really, this is an ambitious, entrepreneurial, trail blazing endeavor. In a world of obese children, declining test scores and the break down of family systems you're drawing a line in the sand. You're telling the world that what matters isn't what you have, it's what you do for others. You're forming a relationship that could never exist in the world of daycare and nanny's. And most importantly you won't have to look back in 20 or 30 years and wish you had tried harder as a parent.
Denver Doings
In our search for subsistence Max and I have discovered the Denver Childrens Museum. To be fair Jen told us to get in the car and drove us there. In the American male masculine tradition though I'd like to stake my claim at this discovery, but I digress.
The museum is a sprawling affair with plenty to do for kids up to about age 12 or so. Max particularly enjoyed the train room which featured buckets of Thomas the Tank Engine trains and tracks. There was also a decommissioned fire truck complete with working lights and sirens that he could play in among other things. There was also a large outside play area with a playground and a sandbox inside a large inflatable dome which was very unique.
At the end of the session we decided to purchase a $90 year membership. I normally say "if it's free it's me, if I have to pay no way." But Jen's logic was pretty solid on this one. We need somewhere to go on a regular basis. And we really need an indoor activity once the weather starts to cool. If you're looking for a kid friendly activity in Denver, I'd recommend the museum.
At the end of the session we decided to purchase a $90 year membership. I normally say "if it's free it's me, if I have to pay no way." But Jen's logic was pretty solid on this one. We need somewhere to go on a regular basis. And we really need an indoor activity once the weather starts to cool. If you're looking for a kid friendly activity in Denver, I'd recommend the museum.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Looking for a new play group.
M-dog and I are finally getting settled in DEN. However, I can tell by both of our manic activity that we need a new playgroup. My wife found an interesting lead in the Highlands Mommies group. Sure the name is a little pejorative but apparently they have a corner of the site that features dads. I'll keep you updated.
Here's the link to the site
Highlands Mommies
Here's the link to the site
Highlands Mommies
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Not yet dead in Denver
We rolled into Denver one week ago and it's finally starting to feel (and look) like home. We're finally starting to see the end of unpacking the boxes and it's finally time to start tackling more daunting pursuits. Bootstrapping a playgroup for Max and I. The good news is that it seems like Denver is a much more friendly city than nearly anywhere on the east coast, we're also in a pretty liberal bohemian area. So I'm hoping that a mildly eccentric Stay at Home Dad like myself isn't as much of a peculiarity. Stay tuned as I report my attempts to penetrate the parental fortress of stay at home mom-hood.
I'd love to see some comments or suggestions about my current pursuit.
I'd love to see some comments or suggestions about my current pursuit.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Heat Wave
I'm currently sitting inside during a 100 degree day here in Connecticut. The little guy and I have found little to do in these weary conditions. So far I've come up with the following:
- Water, ok this one is pretty obvious. We could hit the baby pool at the park or even stick an inflatable pool in the backyard. A toddlers attention span generally dictates that we're only able to spend about 10 mins in the water and he wants to go do something else. It's still the best option for a free activity outside of the house though.
- The mall, this is along the same lines of what do we do during a snow storm. I generally avoid this place during those conditions also. I have neither the money nor inclination to bow at the altar of consumerism.
- The library, I love the library. But it became our refugee camp during the past winter. I'm trying to do all I can to avoid it during the warmer months.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Masculism
Masculinism - The radical notion that a man can create a delicious meatloaf.
Women had to leave the house to assert their independence, we have to come back to it. In our grass roots, localism, return to authenticity current hipster moment a return to the homestead is the most apt, and radical thing you as a father can do.
Once you're there the real fun starts. Your new goal is not to pay anyone for anything you can possibly learn how to do yourself. That means you are now a cook, a handyman, a mechanic, a seamstress, a brewer, a meteorologist, or a Marxist revolutionary if that's your bag. I went from a guy who's behind was carved out of cookie dough to a kitchen remodeler, brewer and mechanic in less than a year. There's no reason you can't do the same. I can also atest that the internal rewards from such knowledge are far greater than the successful creation of a TPS report.
Women had to leave the house to assert their independence, we have to come back to it. In our grass roots, localism, return to authenticity current hipster moment a return to the homestead is the most apt, and radical thing you as a father can do.
Once you're there the real fun starts. Your new goal is not to pay anyone for anything you can possibly learn how to do yourself. That means you are now a cook, a handyman, a mechanic, a seamstress, a brewer, a meteorologist, or a Marxist revolutionary if that's your bag. I went from a guy who's behind was carved out of cookie dough to a kitchen remodeler, brewer and mechanic in less than a year. There's no reason you can't do the same. I can also atest that the internal rewards from such knowledge are far greater than the successful creation of a TPS report.
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